If you were to ask what my top 3 priorities are, I would rattle off a really nice, Sunday School like answer and say God 1st, Marriage 2nd, and Children 3rd. But do my daily actions reflect this? Sadly, the truthful answer is no. In fact, most days I put them in reverse. My kids get my best (sometimes), Josh gets my leftovers (if that), and God gets the crumbs (once in awhile).
The balancing act of a Mom is far more tricky than I ever imagined. These tiny little people, albeit gosh darn cute, take up a huge chunk of time and energy. It's true that Mommyhood is the best and hardest job in the entire world. I love my little munchkins more than they'll ever comprehend. But it can be easy to let these little lives control us so much that other important areas, dare I say "even more important" areas get neglected.
I'm not ashamed to say I married the best man in the whole wide world. Yes, I married a sinner as did he, but I absolutely adore my husband. He makes me laugh every single day. He deals with my craziness with love and kindness... is an incredible Dad... loves Jesus. Need I say more? But this sweet man I pledged my heart to has taken a backseat on so many occasions in the last 2 years. It's easy to get comfortable in marriage and take one another for granted. But this relationship needs nurtured and tended to daily. If at the end of the day I feel like Super Mom but Awful Wife, then I have failed. The best way to love my kids is to love their Dad. Plain and Simple. What greater gift could we give Silas & Ainsley than to show them what a God-glorifying covenant marriage looks like?
Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment." Man oh man, do I struggle with THE most important relationship in my life. My Heavenly Father sent his one and only Son to die for me, and yet I struggle carving out time to spend with him everyday?!? I'm so undeserving of the grace and love he pours out on me. My most important task as a Mom is to lead my children to the knowledge and understanding of God's love for them. Taking them to church, singing 'Jesus Loves Me', and reading books about Jesus isn't enough. They need a Mom and Dad who live out their faith every single day. They need to witness firsthand what an authentic relationship with Christ looks like. I am so far from where I need to be.
Lord, help me to seek your face every single day and to put you first before anything else.
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